Nation’s Deer Excited to Escape into Idyllic Human Civilization this Summer

After months of being cooped up in their everyday life for so long, the nation’s deer are reportedly excited to begin venturing out in the wonders of human civilization this summer. Officials are expecting a record number of the wild ungulates escaping the doldrums of deer life to experience the wide open spaces that humans created by razing forests and creating large swaths of asphalt landscapes. The activities among the adventurous deer will sound familiar, as common activities such as raiding human gardens and staring at car headlights are expected to become even more popular this summer.

Ruminant experts, such as Dana Hawkins, a deer sociology professor at Virginia Tech, have many theories as to why human civilization has become increasingly popular among the deer. “Deer, like humans, have strong bonds of community but sometimes need some changes, some mental health breaks,” explains Hawkins, “The abundance of benefits that the deer can obtain by venturing out into the human world really help revitalize deer as they take a long weekend sleeping in someone’s backyard.”

“We also theorize that the deer are becoming ever tired of their chronic wasting disease pandemic and the random destruction of increasing natural disasters. After experiencing so many isolation orders and turmoil, they are tired and want to escape and experience all that human society has to offer.”

Experts acknowledge that while they have witnessed deer in human civilization year-round, the popularity increases when the weather warms. Additionally, they have found the number of deer hanging out in modern society to be ever increasing, which they credit partially to the much improved access brought on by an increasing footprint of human civilization.

And this is all despite increasing dangers, such as hunters and vehicles, but experts agree that this just provides an extra adrenaline rush for the animals. “There really is something about traveling from a place where you’re not an apex predator to a place where you’re definitely not an apex predator,” continues Hawkins, “The game of ‘Running right in front of that car’ is a national pastime to them.” This year, however, deer scientists have responded by creating “car-spray”, which will help the deer stay safe while they stay in human civilization for long periods of time.